Ready for counseling but your partner is not quite sure?

You are not on the same page with counseling comittment, but there is a place to begin, even if one of you is not quite sure . It’s a question so many couples struggle with and yet they are stuck in a marriage that is not working. “If only my partner would want to go to counseling to work on our marriage, then our marriage will be back to a good place, like it used to be.” I just finished listening to a webinar , from the Gottman Institute in Seattle, that addressed this very problem and it is called Discernment Counseling. This is different from couples counseling in that the couple can go to counseling without having to make a definite commitment. It’s an exploration of each couple’s perspectives in order to clarify and feel confident about making the decision to move forward with counseling. 

There are three paths to take in making the decision.

• PATH 1: Keep the status quo.
• PATH 2: Moving to separation and divorce.
• PATH 3: All out effort to launch into couple’s counseling.

It is a 1-5 session plan, giving each partner time to come to a decision. The couple attends, but splits the counseling time, with much of the time spent in one on one meetings with the therapist. If you decide to go this route, ask the counselor if they do discernment counseling. Take the pressure off decision-making before couples counseling, and explore the possibilities of learning how to repair your marriage.